Schooltime Blues

Heya

Welp, I still feel like shit so that’s nice.  Everything just feels like it’s cracking and crumbling.

At school, I don’t really have friends. I have two that are actually friends while basically the rest of the people I hang out with are toxic messes.  Then there’s my teachers who I don’t connect with at all.  My mom says it’s because I come off as an independent person, but I think it’s because I’m not noticeable.  I’m kinda in the middle for my grades, I don’t speak out in class unless I’m called on, and I rarely have questions or ask for help.  It seems everyone around me has a close relationship with a teacher as a mentor or someone they can talk to besides their parents or something.  What am I even doing there if I don’t have good interactions with others?  

I feel like the only person that hears me is my mom and even that is rare because I don’t want to seem like a burden to others.  All I want is to have reliable friends and to be close to a teacher so I feel safer at school. 

Instead I just feel like nothing. Like I don’t even matter.

-Ali

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